Choices… September 29, 2009

Have you ever been asked to do something that you did not want to do (for starters)…but subsequently said YES to? How did that make you feel? Compliant, Used, Disempowered, Angry, Disappointed…or just plain Dumb? Were you complaining under your breath whilst you carried out that job, role, request, promise or favor?

If you have done that before, you are not alone. But who do you blame? No one…but your good self. I encourage you to take up your responsibility and own up to that decision, as it is all about choices! Sometimes we make good ones and other times we make not so good ones (and we’ll have to face the consequences of making either choices).

Of course there are times when the need arises for us to be selfless and help out…but just as important, there are also times that we need to put ourselves first! Uh-huh, you heard what I just said. If we do not know (appreciate) how to put ourselves first, who else will?

One of my favorite authors and Coach is self-care guru Cheryl Richardson. She shares passionately about creating space and loving yourself enough to make time to care for you! If you allow yourself to be a doormat…you have just given up your right to choose (and allow others to step all over you *thank you*).

There will be times in your life when you need to say NO! Of course with a smile and with grace, it is important to stand your ground to keep your priorities in check and in focus. There is much power and responsibility in the choices that we all make.

Will you be able to stand up and be counted for what you (really want to) say and mean?

• NO = I will not marry you until I see you beginning to commit now…not after the marriage…
• NO = I will not take on more responsibilities even if it means I get new job title and a raise…
  
• NO = I will not accept anything that goes against my morals or values…
• NO = I will not be taken for a ride or for granted and my rights are important…
• YES = I will say yes to more work-life balance starting now not tomorrow…
• YES = I will respect myself more vs. be concerned of what others think of me…
• YES = I will appreciate my strengths and not look down on myself and my inabilities…
• YES = I will agree with doing something for someone because I want to…not because I’m obliged to…
• And the list goes on…

What are some tough decisions that you need to make today? Whatever the choice…be confident and be glad that you are making it…by yourself and for yourself! The more you do this, the greater the results you will experience in your life.

The Busy-Bee August 30, 2009

I’ve been really BUSY like a Bee, with establishing my new Online Coaching business (with my partner Les White)…that I sometimes feel that I’m just getting nowhere. Of course we are getting ready and setting up a Good Foundation for the BIG Time…and YES I can envision Maximum Impact Professionals (MIP) going Global Successfully as well!

But the problem is the current situation.You see…the Busyness of Life (involving Work and Personal Life) can sometimes be an “Illusion” that you are Progressing! It can also make you feel you’re “Worth Something”…being involved, being needed, wanted and feeling important. Plus this can of course give you an “Identity” that might set you up for disaster…especially when people Peg their Identity to their Contribution Purely at Work. And in many cases when they lose their jobs, they subsequently also lose their Identity, Self-Worth and worst of all their Reason for Living!

Don’t get me wrong…I’m all for being Busy and being Committed at your Work and Goals in Life…but if these are eating you up at the Core, then it is not worth it! I’ve met and Coached many who were so Busy that they automatically neglected their responsibilities at Home (to their Partner, Spouse, Children, etc). You might say, they dropped the ball. Unfortunately, many of them did not see that coming or happening…and even some were still ignorant to the fact!

Why? It’s because they linked their Importance, their Sole Motivator and their Actions (Mind, Soul and Body) to just One Aspect that gave them Great Results…in this case their Business, Career or Work. We all live in a Results Oriented society and understand that good performance is always tied with Incentives.

What is your Incentive of Life today? To be Rich or to have a Rich Life?

If you are like me…you would also enjoy being Busy, which is Fantastic! But STOP and think, and begin to Align yourself with your Purposes, Motives, Reasons, Results, Goals, Incentives and START thinking “Balance”. That word has helped me and my Clients tremendously!

What is your Balance Today? Do note that something will always have to Give, as there is an Opportunity Cost to wanting Balance.

• Are you willing to sacrifice not to be so successful?
• Are you willing to go against the flow and sometimes stand on your values?
• Are you willing to sacrifice your promotion or bonus this year for the sake of saving your marriage?
• Are you willing to sacrifice your time from work to watch your daughter dance or son kick the footy?

You know, I never ever heard of someone on their dying bed wanting to CLOSE just one more Sales Deal. If that is the case, why wait to near death to only then…want a change?

The Busy-Bee and the Balance-Bee will both die anyway, why reach there faster?

Choose to be the Balance-Bee today…and I guarantee you will see your life transform!…

Stay or Jump? July 16, 2009

Have you ever been on a Boat Ride that was rocky and bumpy all the way to your destination? I for one do not enjoy a rocky boat ride. There was once I threw up all over the side of the boat whilst it anchored itself in ocean on a fishing trip. I did not manage to fish that day…but I’m sure the fish had a gala time with my “offerings”.

You know…you don’t have to be on any “boat” if you choose otherwise. But you have to realize that once you agree to go for the ride…you are at the mercy of the open waters.

When I coach, I often encounter clients feeling stuck and they often wonder why/how they ended up on a boat (of life) that they did not want to be on, in the first place. They just either went along with it…or just did not think of questioning their decision at that point of time. And hence, I would ask them this; “now that you are on the boat…what do you want to do?“

Realizing that instead of moping around or complain, they soon realize that they have a few choices

• enjoy the journey (smile bravely at the storm?)
• take over the boat (by force or negotiation?) or
• simply get off the boat!

You see…life can sometimes keep us “captive”…but I’m sure when we come to our senses, we know better and acknowledge that we have a choice. Be bold and take that step of faith! I challenge you to make a decision today to step out of your “captivity/prison/comfort zone” and perhaps…jump out of the boat!

What will be your choice today?

The Years Of A Futile Life…(Part 2) June 6, 2009

Welcome back to Part 2 of the “Futile Life”…heck…if all is just wasting away, is it worth it to continue this blog? Why not…let’s continue after all I believe it might just give you an indication of what your life is all about and what you should be looking out for. So…let’s begin.

We live to say…an average of 70+ years on earth and then we leave…hmmm, where do we go? Well firstly not many have traveled back and forth to “live 2 tell”…but if there is some truth in life after death…then one should start seeking and asking some questions;

• What happens after our so called “life”?
• Where do we go or don’t go?
• Do we have a choice on where we go?
• Who actually has come back from the dead (as they said they would)?
• Anyone conquered death, grave and even hell…in history?
• And does anyone currently hold the key to eternal life?

As this point…I will just leave these questions for you to ponder and reflect…and I would seriously suggest that you spend part of your time on earth…searching for the answers and truly finding it then believing it with all of your heart…before the end of this futile life.

Now back to our time spent here on earth…the 70+ years as mentioned…

I have lived 36 of them already (yeah…yeah…I am revealing my age) and WOW that means I have at least another 36 years of life to go! Some might say…having another crack at it or a second chance. Would you like a second chance at life? Have you ever thought of going back in time to amend something you said or did or vice versa? Well you have it folks…each one of us (no matter how old we are) can have a second chance…you hold that in your hands. All you have to do is to say YES to whatever it is that might have held you back and you can BEGIN!

But…but…I’m not qualified, not good enough, not young anymore, not that good at speaking/sharing my heart and thoughts, don’t have enough money, don’t have the opportunity, don’t have the skills nor ability, don’t have the desire or heart…and I have a handicap, I have failed, I have been let down, I have been demoralized, I have been shamed, I have not achieved much in life…and the list of disappointments can go on…and on…and on.

If all you are feeling and saying is like what we highlighted above…you are truly living a Futile Life!

I watched Oprah the other day and she was sharing about the “BIG GIVE” (a Seed $ Idea for Volunteers who want to Make a Difference Growing that $ Exponentially for the under privileged) and learn 2 Key lessons from it;

1. People are the same…all over the world…we are in built with a Heart of Compassion and Purpose
2. The Human Spirit knows NO BOUNDS when there is a VISION Driving them Forward

Where is your “heart-beating-for” at this moment? What is your heart saying for you to do? Is there a Vision for your Future (lost somewhere deep within) that is just waiting and yearning to come out?

What or Who is stopping you then? The probable answers could be well…”Others…my Parents…my Wife…my Friends…my Colleagues…my Closest Buddy…my Pastor…my Siblings… STOP! What about YOU? Are YOU stopping yourself from Living the Life you ought to and think you should be?

You might have read of these stats before…but let me vividly take you through them and you can decide where you stand in the midst of all these;

• More than 3.7 billion people in the world live on less than $2 per day
• More than 2.6 billion people—over 40 per cent of the world’s population—do not have basic water sanitation
• 800+ million people go to bed hungry every day…(300 million are children)
• 584 million women are illiterate
• 114 million children do not get even a basic education
• Every year 11 million children die—most under the age of 5…(6 million due to completely preventable causes like malaria, diarrhea and pneumonia)
• Every minute, a woman somewhere dies in pregnancy or childbirth
• Every 3.6 seconds another person dies of starvation and the large majority are children under the age of 5

Now if I were one of these…my life would really look Futile don’t you think?

So what do you have…that makes your life futile? An Education, Safe Drinking Water, Medicine, Food (3-5 times a day), Two Hands and Two Legs (and all parts of your body functioning properly), Parents and Family that Love you, Money in your bank account (for a Holiday, Investment, Rainy Day), a Car, possibly own a Property, a Job, Shoes, Clothing, Gadgets and the list goes on and on…plus Internet that is how you are reading this Blog ; )

You have a choice…what will be yours today? To live this life the same…OR for the next X number of years ahead, to choose to begin afresh, anew…TODAY! Truly forgetting what’s behind you…the mistakes, the trials, the issues, the failures…look ahead. Go out…”Smell the flowers while you can”…and get excited on the many Possibilities of your Extraordinary short existence…and to live your life again! Learn to smile and be thankful for the many fortunate blessings you ‘already’ have in your life.

I challenge you to make a pact (with yourself)…to write your “own History”…the Pen is in Your Hands! Live your Dreams with Passion…and use the years ahead of you to leave a Legacy for the next generation to aspire towards.

I believe in YOU…so start believing in yourself!

The Best and the Beast April 16, 2009

It’s April and we are in the midst of Autumn…it is simply beautiful to watch Nature takes it course. The economic scenario bears similar resemblance…as the Southern Hemisphere gets ready for Winter, the scenario according to economists will be looking much worst.

Boosting Confidence and Throwing Government Stimulus to the Public (as in Australia) can only have a short-term effect but the longer trend will prevail. Just as Nature must take it’s course…so must the economy. Companies that have been prudent making wise, long-term decisions in good times will stand a better chance at making it to the end of this gloomy cycle. But what else can be done?

I believe a Downturn or a Personal Crisis in Life will only bring out the Best and the Beast in people! What holds true to the end is not just the accumulated wealth, skills/knowledge base or structured processes (even though I believe they do play a part)…the Key is the Strength of the Core Values that Leads to a Way of Life!

What is driving a Company? I used to work for Johnson and Johnson (ASEAN) and I remember the Strong Internal CREDO that each J&J staff must hold true at work and with all external parties. One Key Value was the Strong Appreciation of People/Staff and their Overall Growth/Welfare. I believe companies like a J&J will continue to grow and as a pivotal company way into the 21st Century. Why? They are bound by Strong Values and more importantly Live by them!

Companies that crack under pressure during this Great Recession (we’ve just seen a few with many MORE coming…like the Car Companies, Consulting Firms, Banks, etc)…have only themselves to blame! I believe their Values got “screwed-up” along the way and they forgot their real reason for existence (besides just making lotsa money).

As a Certified Professional Coach, I hold true to the Code of Ethics with the International Coach Federation (ICF). As a Born Again Christian, I hold true to all Truth from the Living Word of GOD for my life! That’s me…what about you?

What are your Values, your Credo? What do you think makes “YOU”? When things don’t seem to go the way it should be for your life and the world around you…how will you act, react, respond?

The decisions you make today according or against your true Values will make OR break your future! It’s high time to re-evaluate our lives and Values and then persevere with Passion to Live our Dream…(not others). And don’t wait till the Recession is over or when the next Bright and Sunny season comes…Begin today!

Taking Risks March 27, 2009

How does the word “Risk” sit in your mind? Too dangerous? Well, how does it make you feel? Unsure, Uncertain?

We all react differently in situations and when it comes to taking risks…some of us would shy away from it, whilst others simply thrive on it! (Risk Averse vs. Risk Taker) Have you ever wondered why this is so? I believe we are all wired differently but more importantly there is another more prevailing reason.

There is a direct correlation between the amount of Risk Taken and the amount of Return Expected. Financial Analysts will tell you that Risks = Return (Higher Risks = Higher Returns and vice versa). However…having lead a couple of businesses and lectured in Project Management, I have come to the conclusion that the key in Risk Taking is; “mastering the art of managing risks better”. It is true – Risk is not a wild animal that cannot be tamed!

In fact, making “everyday” decisions in our life involves Risks! But because these decisions are “trivial and small”…we simply don’t think about it…as it becomes second nature and routine – driving to work, cooking a meal in the kitchen, taking a shower. If you really think about it…you could possibly get injured doing any of the above 3 examples! (Did I hear a light bulb moment there?)

So what happens to us when it comes to “NON-everyday” decisions? Why do we just STOP at our tracks and become cautious…numb…and stuck? Is it Fear? Is it Not Knowing the Outcome? Is it simply a Lack of Self-Belief? Well…don’t fret; it happens to the best of us.

Let me share some quick “What-2-do Strategies” when faced with a Risky Moment or Decision Point…

• Get Relevant (More) Information
• Evaluate the What-Ifs
  
• Talk to an Expert (Others who have done it…Well)
• Stay away from Dream-Killers (in the form of Negative people, etc)
  
• Set Clear Objectives and Goals
• Check your “Action” Barriers (e.g.: a Bad Past Experience?)
• Project the End-Benefits in your Mind
  
• Get Clarity of Heart (Linked with your Passions)
  
• Believe in Yourself (and Your Ability)

Incidentally, today I bought a 1999 Saab 9-5 car…it was a Risk, especially when the whole world around me says to get a Japanese badged car which is more reliable, ya-da…ya-da…ya-da. I chose this car after much evaluation and going through the above Strategies. And now I dare say I have “peace in my mind and heart” that this is the Best Choice given my budget, needs and my love (vs. fear) of owning a Continental car.

Have you ever taken any risks in your life?

As one saying goes “If you win, you will be happy; If you lose, you will be wise. Nothing Ventured, Nothing Gained.”

I challenge you today…if you are at a Crossroad of an apparent Risky/Critical Decision…be Bold and Look Risk in the Eye…and say “BRING IT ON!” (of course, please do your ground-work looking at the Strategies above).

If still uncertain, you can always call me up and I can Coach you to Believe in Yourself! (and you’ll be glad to know that I have done this many a times and have been very successfully too) ; )

Go on…take that Risk today!

Get On Your Boots February 28, 2009

No Line on the Horizon is U2’s latest studio album that was just released in Australia today. I’ve been a U2 fan since 1984 when The Joshua Tree won the Grammy for Album of the Year. It was a sad day for me as Michael Jackson (my Idol then) lost out on the award but that was also a dawning of a new day = a new revelation as I was introduced to a 4 man band (2 Catholics and 2 Protestants) from Dublin, Ireland. They were and still are an inspiration to me as their music/lyrics enthused me to begin writing songs and my love journey with the acoustic guitar.

Have you ever had a moment in your life when things looked dim and ugly (at the start) but turned out for the better later? I guess my U2 experience was something just like that, for me. In fact…every day we live can be a moment of awakening and opportunity to Dream, Live and Make the Best out of what we’ve got. I guess we’ve gotta sometimes look at a situation with eyes wide open and with a different/new perspective too!

My “new career” as a Coach has helped me realize what I truly desire to do…that is to “help ordinary people reach their potential and live extraordinarily!” We all have a choice to make…whether we live this life on the inside or get outside the borders of our comfort and complacency.

Every one of us can participate and make an impact in the life we live…if only we step out and Get on Your Boots! The 1st single from U2’s latest album celebrates our Uniqueness and the “Sound” that we make…but it will only make a relevant change in our life and the life of others, when we put on the Boots and Step OUT!

Are you waiting for something to happen or will you say yes and make it happen?

“You don’t know how beautiful you are…Let me in the sound…Meet me in the sound…Get on your boots” – Bono

90 years…and still going strong January 2, 2009

Rolihlahla was Nelson Mandela’s first name which meant, “pulling down the branch of a tree” or “trouble maker”…what a powerful name for a powerful trouble maker. I say that with much respect and admiration, for without his trouble making ways…we might not have experienced a liberated South Africa!

Now at a graceful age of 90 years, Mandela is considered a living legend and is a man that has seen many things in his long, hard fought life. He has taught us many lessons in life…Perseverance/Hope (27 years in jail), Forgiveness (still seeing the Good in others) and Living a Dream (Seeing his people set free!). Prison teaches many things to a person and for Mandela it changed his life…from a young emotional, headstrong, easily stung person to a calm, balanced and disciplined man.

And…if I were to ever live to 90, I would want to see these few things come to pass;

• China, India, Brazil leading the economy as the next superpowers (why not?)
• Communism completely eradicated (YES, YES, YES) and perhaps…
• A One World government (sharing and equalizing wealth across all people groups)

As for “my own world”…

• Australia (my chosen country to live in) become truly liberated – embracing of all cultures without prejudice
• Coaching (Life, Business, etc) be accepted and practiced across the globe and in all sectors
• The Gospel of Jesus Christ being preached to every tongue and tribe

What would be your vision…if you lived to 90?

Anyway, the story does not end with Mandela…this portion comes from a recent Time Magazine feature on his life and he shared his 8 Lessons of Leadership which I want to leave with you;

1. Courage is not the absence of fear – it’s inspiring others to move beyond it!
2. Lead from the front – but don’t leave your base behind
3. Lead from the back – and let others believe they are in front
4. Know your enemy – and learn about their favorite sport
5. Keep your friends close – and your rivals even closer
6. Appearances matter – and remember to smile
7. Nothing is Black or White*
8. Quitting is leading too

Truly, nothing is Black or White*…today we have a Newly elected Black President in the White House in the United States of America. That is groundbreaking/fantastic news and sends a truckload of positive vibes that the world is changing and “anything is possible”. We always need to challenge the norm and ask the question “why not”?

In Coaching…it is the same, with the quiver of Affirmation that Obama (and I’m sure Mandela) would ask us all to resound…it is not a No…but a Big “YES WE CAN!”

2009 will be a year of change…and 2009 will be your year to Shine if you passionately believe it with all your heart!

Rock It! December 30, 2008

It’s at the end of another year and I’m sure we are all looking forward to the festivity and parties going on everywhere! It’s also a time of reflection for the year that has gone by and what we have or have not done too well…

I’m reminded of the saying “if it is not broke don’t fix it” and I must say, I for one do not agree with that in every aspect. As a Coach, I believe we must always challenge what we are doing to the point of being open to change that brings about freshness and a different perspective. My saying will always be “Let’s Rock It”…we all need a bit of rocking of the boat…that could bring about a new and lasting outcome. When Elvis introduced his moves on “live tele” many years ago, many were so taken aback with disgust but for others who were open to the moving of the hips and the swaying to the King in Blues Suede Shoes…we entered into a new era of Rock & Roll!

How does one “Rock It”? Simple…what you are doing today must firstly be different (in parts) vs. what you do tomorrow. One cannot expect the same results doing the same things over and over again…it’s simple unthinkable. Things change, circumstances change, the environment or external factors change and hence we need to change, to not just keep up with the changes but to strategize and visualize different action steps to lead us to this new frontier.

So what will you do differently in 2009?

The other simple point to “Rock It” is to have a change of Mindset! It’s not all the “doing” that will bring us to a new place, sometimes it is also the “thinking”. How is your outlook of things or of your life, going into 2009?

• Is it Positive or Negative?
• Is it Open or Narrow?
  
• Is it Clear or Muggy?
• Is it Calm or Stressed-Out?
  
• Is it Creative or One-Track?

How we think can dramatically impact how we feel and act. We need to decide before going into the New Year…and allow ourselves the time to reflect “holistically” on these simple points.

I wanna wish all of you a Fantastic New Year in 2009…it will be a tough year ahead, but it will certainly be rewarding when we can all say with gusto “Let’s give it a Big Go and ROCK IT!!! in mind, heart, spirit and body/action.

Good Morning China! August 28, 2008

The Beijing Olympics 080808 has come and gone…but what has that left behind for you? For me, many memorable & precious moments plus the feelings of pride, amazement and some deep insights.

Why Pride? Well even though I was not born in China, I come from a Chinese heritage (my ancestors were from China) who later immigrated to Malaysia for a better life. I guess that is what I’m doing for my next generation, here in Australia. I was very proud to see how the Chinese carried out such a efficiently and magnificently run Games! Every little and intricate detail was not spared. This does also reflect how everywhere you go…there is a Chinese doing business and doing it successfully!

Why Amazement? From the Specially Designed Venues (Bird’s Nest, Bubble, etc), to the Fantastic Opening / Closing ceremonies to the Warmth and Support of the Chinese spectators…I believe almost everyone who visited China (Media, Participants, Visitors) would certainly echo how well they were received and treated. It’s probably the best Games yet…in my opinion.

What Deep Insights? Hmmm…there are just too many. Here are just a few;

• Hello World…Behold Modern China!
• Welcome All “We are Open for Business”
• Size Matters (whatever you do, China can do it better and cheaper)
• Excellence is the New Black
• Trustworthy and Consistency (is Back)
• Success is Sweeter and Bountiful

How does this relate to Coaching? Just touching on one point…”Perception can be changed when a New Perspective is Envisioned“. Not too long ago, China was considered as the country that could produce Everything and Anything but there was a Big Question on its Quality and Consistency. Just look at China today…she has truly “woken up” to become a Super-Duper Power of the New Millenium. The Economic World will continue to turn because of China.

Every one of us have the same opportunity to begin our day (or week, project, season, relationship, etc) with a New Perspective. Does the sun need to shine brightly in the morning in order for us to have a good day? Where are you today concerning that?

And so…what will you say? “Good Morning (with a smile)” or Good %#!*^ Morning?????” What will your choice be today?