Pride…(In the Name of Love) October 30, 2009

One of the most difficult of words in the English language neither a bombastic word nor a difficult word to spell. In fact it is a word that seems to be the hardest thing to flow out of anyone’s mouth…no matter what the age (from a young rebellious child to a hardened 80 year old man!). It is the word ‘Sorry’. Even Billy Joel seems to agree with that statement through one of his best selling songs.

‘Sorry’…can also be said in many ways, ’soooo soorry’ (sarcastically) to ‘SORRY’ (in anger) to ‘sorry’ (what dear? I can’t quite hear what you said…). A lot of times, the word sorry gets stuck in between the desire to be Right to the fear of being Wrong  and with a twist of deceit of wanting to keep our Pride (and sometimes Face, too). Yes, we ego-centric people living in this modern microwave society are tongue-tied and bashful to say the least, to admit that it was actually ‘my fault’.

What brave souls of the past, I remember watching a golden favorite, “To Kill a Mockingbird” where the main character (an African man) was accused for a crime that he did not commit. I loved his character…so humble, so gentle and without pride (but faced with tons of prejudice)…and you could see that at one point, he even considered taking on the punishment for a crime he did not commit (which made me think that he was willing to say a Silent Sorry for it).

What makes us hold on to our Pride (even when we are wrong and ought to apologize)? I believe it could be a many things from our past and the environment we grew up to the influences we open ourselves to through the years to the all the “standing for our Rights” movement. We all grew up rebelling in a form or other. Turn on the News today and you can see the same things that plagued Bible times…Sin, Lust, Greed, Jealousy, Anger and Pride.

I have through the years, mellowed from a very hot and short tempered man to an almost even tempered and sometimes sliding to the mild tempered side. I could say I have matured, but I like to believe that I have CHOSEN to CHANGE. I saw the pain I personally put my loved ones through the many years and decided that I have to begin to QUIT IT. Yes…time has been the testimony of the changes I have made…I never gave up but most of all, the people who loved me, did NOT Give Up on me! (that was probably my saving Grace).

In the Name of LOVE…the Love I have for my God, the Love I have for my Wife and Family…I made a shift and after many encounters with the dark-side of reality…I finally see the light and I am truly Blessed and Happy about the Journey…in which I am still learning from…each and every day.

Where are you at today? I urge you to Choose Life and take the Stand to walk away from Pride…the beauty of your decision will become a Flower blossoming into your Destiny.

 

Choices… September 29, 2009

Have you ever been asked to do something that you did not want to do (for starters)…but subsequently said YES to? How did that make you feel? Compliant, Used, Disempowered, Angry, Disappointed…or just plain Dumb? Were you complaining under your breath whilst you carried out that job, role, request, promise or favor?

If you have done that before, you are not alone. But who do you blame? No one…but your good self. I encourage you to take up your responsibility and own up to that decision, as it is all about choices! Sometimes we make good ones and other times we make not so good ones (and we’ll have to face the consequences of making either choices).

Of course there are times when the need arises for us to be selfless and help out…but just as important, there are also times that we need to put ourselves first! Uh-huh, you heard what I just said. If we do not know (appreciate) how to put ourselves first, who else will?

One of my favorite authors and Coach is self-care guru Cheryl Richardson. She shares passionately about creating space and loving yourself enough to make time to care for you! If you allow yourself to be a doormat…you have just given up your right to choose (and allow others to step all over you *thank you*).

There will be times in your life when you need to say NO! Of course with a smile and with grace, it is important to stand your ground to keep your priorities in check and in focus. There is much power and responsibility in the choices that we all make.

Will you be able to stand up and be counted for what you (really want to) say and mean?

• NO = I will not marry you until I see you beginning to commit now…not after the marriage…
• NO = I will not take on more responsibilities even if it means I get new job title and a raise…
  
• NO = I will not accept anything that goes against my morals or values…
• NO = I will not be taken for a ride or for granted and my rights are important…
• YES = I will say yes to more work-life balance starting now not tomorrow…
• YES = I will respect myself more vs. be concerned of what others think of me…
• YES = I will appreciate my strengths and not look down on myself and my inabilities…
• YES = I will agree with doing something for someone because I want to…not because I’m obliged to…
• And the list goes on…

What are some tough decisions that you need to make today? Whatever the choice…be confident and be glad that you are making it…by yourself and for yourself! The more you do this, the greater the results you will experience in your life.

The Busy-Bee August 30, 2009

I’ve been really BUSY like a Bee, with establishing my new Online Coaching business (with my partner Les White)…that I sometimes feel that I’m just getting nowhere. Of course we are getting ready and setting up a Good Foundation for the BIG Time…and YES I can envision Maximum Impact Professionals (MIP) going Global Successfully as well!

But the problem is the current situation.You see…the Busyness of Life (involving Work and Personal Life) can sometimes be an “Illusion” that you are Progressing! It can also make you feel you’re “Worth Something”…being involved, being needed, wanted and feeling important. Plus this can of course give you an “Identity” that might set you up for disaster…especially when people Peg their Identity to their Contribution Purely at Work. And in many cases when they lose their jobs, they subsequently also lose their Identity, Self-Worth and worst of all their Reason for Living!

Don’t get me wrong…I’m all for being Busy and being Committed at your Work and Goals in Life…but if these are eating you up at the Core, then it is not worth it! I’ve met and Coached many who were so Busy that they automatically neglected their responsibilities at Home (to their Partner, Spouse, Children, etc). You might say, they dropped the ball. Unfortunately, many of them did not see that coming or happening…and even some were still ignorant to the fact!

Why? It’s because they linked their Importance, their Sole Motivator and their Actions (Mind, Soul and Body) to just One Aspect that gave them Great Results…in this case their Business, Career or Work. We all live in a Results Oriented society and understand that good performance is always tied with Incentives.

What is your Incentive of Life today? To be Rich or to have a Rich Life?

If you are like me…you would also enjoy being Busy, which is Fantastic! But STOP and think, and begin to Align yourself with your Purposes, Motives, Reasons, Results, Goals, Incentives and START thinking “Balance”. That word has helped me and my Clients tremendously!

What is your Balance Today? Do note that something will always have to Give, as there is an Opportunity Cost to wanting Balance.

• Are you willing to sacrifice not to be so successful?
• Are you willing to go against the flow and sometimes stand on your values?
• Are you willing to sacrifice your promotion or bonus this year for the sake of saving your marriage?
• Are you willing to sacrifice your time from work to watch your daughter dance or son kick the footy?

You know, I never ever heard of someone on their dying bed wanting to CLOSE just one more Sales Deal. If that is the case, why wait to near death to only then…want a change?

The Busy-Bee and the Balance-Bee will both die anyway, why reach there faster?

Choose to be the Balance-Bee today…and I guarantee you will see your life transform!…

A Tribute to Michael Jackson… June 26, 2009

What a shocker of a day…I’ve decided to dedicate this space to MJ…Farah Fawcett…and I’ve just heard Jeff Goldblum (now confirmed a hoax) has passed away as well!

In the entertainment industry…no one has truly come close to the King of Pop Michael. From his early days as a child singing sensation with the Jackson 5…to his debut solo career (that went Off the Wall)…to the  launch to the world with the “Moon Walk” at Motown’s 25th Year Celebration to his all time bestselling album of all time “Thriller”…to his chameleon changing face re-construction (which he denies)…to his court cases…to his almost bankruptcy…to his second or third “HIStoric” comeback …selling 50 Concerts in London!

MJ’s life has created so much buzz and fascination…that we all felt like “we were part of his big circus act” being the spectators looking in to a sad, confused (wacko), eccentric, secluded life of a Mega-Celebrity. But his death will now be the BIGGER buzz…I predict that in days, months, years to come…his death will create such a ripple and renewal of love and adoration to this “elephant-man” (a picture of his emotional state…a simple man behind the mask). He and his franchise will eclipse the likes of great music deads – Jimmy Hendrix, Elvis Presley, John Lennon, Freddy Mercury, Michael Hutchence and many more. Perhaps even a bigger story over Princess Di!?

Michael was my Iconic figure before I knew U2. His songs changed my life…I remember we did a dance performed at a 12th PJ Scouts Campfire with the song “The Way You Make Me Feel”…and yes, I was Michael in the Electric Blue Shirt! That song gave me instant fame with the Girl Guides there…I can’t imagine how Michael feels being this HUGE…bigger than life entertainer that made us laugh, cry, dance, sing and young (forever).

There is much we can learn from these sad events…for me there’s 5;

1. Life is short (What are we doing with our seconds, minutes, hours, days?) – Gone Too Soon…
2. Life is a story (What legacy are we leaving behind?) – Thriller, Bad, Dangerous…
3. Life is a gift (What is our “gift” to our family, friends and larger community?) – Heal the World…
4. Life is special (We are given this ONE chance to make a difference…to make a Change!) – Man in the Mirror…
5. Life is now to be Celebrated (We must LIVE today…and do what we have been “destined to do” and it don’t matter if you are Black or White!)
   

They say DEATH is the Final Frontier (how true)…but I add on to say that Life is that Journey to the Final Frontier. Hence it is more important how we choose to LIVE…are we PASSIONATE about something/anything? I suggest that you simply GO for it! Let go of all chains that are tying you down to your Dreams…make it into a Reality!

I have Coached many people to help them Envision their Dreams…and all I can say is, it has been AMAZING!!! Just seeing their lives get empowered as they uncover their Potential…to all they could be…

LIFE is truly worth the Living!

No Time to… June 18, 2009

Do you think we are actually progressing in our modern life here on earth? Well…in my opinion…it’s a mixed yes and no…for me.

We can fly around world in a few days, buy something from e-bay and get that sent to your doorstep in X-press mail, communicate to a person with an sms in a few seconds (that includes twitter/facebook)…but then again we don’t have time to write long “hand-written” letter anymore, we can multi-task eating dinner/talking to our partner/watching t.v/feeding your child and reading a mag all at once!

We are also prone to having short-term relationships, short conversations, short answers to questions, short emails/sms (using acronyms), short memories, short tempers, short patience at the fast food joint, short church services and a whole lot more!

I came across this wonderful email and I laughed my head off…it’s a scenario if sms was available in Moses’ time…then the 10 Commandments would look something like this;

1. no1 b4 me. srsly.

2. dnt wrshp pix/idols

3. no omg’s

4. no wrk on w/end (sat 4 now; sun l8r)

5. pos ok – ur m&d r cool

6. dnt kill ppl

7. :-X only w/ m8

8. dnt steal

9. dnt lie re: bf

10. dnt ogle ur bf’s m8. or ox. or dnkey. myob.

M, pls rite on tabs & giv 2 ppl.

Did you get that? If you didn’t then perhaps you are still a Backward-techy Baby Boomer trying to understand what sms-es are all about. But seriously, apart from the good Christian message about the Laws (above)…we are all kinda stuck doing life in this very individualistic, self-absorbing, no-time-for-anything-more-than-3-minutes-world!

Imagine if God were to treat us like that…and if we wanted to ask him for a Blessing or Prayer request…He would say, “hmmm…why don’t you please take a number and queue up!”

- Selah (Rest)

Just got back from watching the new movie YEAR ONE (Jack Black)…and it was hilarious. Amidst the story and wacky comedy…was a message, “we’ve gotta find our true self in the midst of all the busyness and to make a real difference”.

As I coach people of all ages and nationalities, I begin to realize that under all the make-up and pretense (that we sometimes have to put up to protect who we really are)…there is that fragile, confused, sensitive, plain-old man and woman! Every single one “almost” identical to each other to the point we are all warm-blooded, courteous/kind, with the ability to smile and laugh…and just wanting/needing some direction, attention, love and affection.

My advice to you today…is to STOP…to take time…to make time…and live your time here on earth to the “Best” of your ability…sharing, laughing, adoring, singing, giving, affirming, forgiving, dancing, dreaming, living and loving!

No time??? Think again…please use it wisely, before it runs out.

The Years Of A Futile Life…(Part 2) June 6, 2009

Welcome back to Part 2 of the “Futile Life”…heck…if all is just wasting away, is it worth it to continue this blog? Why not…let’s continue after all I believe it might just give you an indication of what your life is all about and what you should be looking out for. So…let’s begin.

We live to say…an average of 70+ years on earth and then we leave…hmmm, where do we go? Well firstly not many have traveled back and forth to “live 2 tell”…but if there is some truth in life after death…then one should start seeking and asking some questions;

• What happens after our so called “life”?
• Where do we go or don’t go?
• Do we have a choice on where we go?
• Who actually has come back from the dead (as they said they would)?
• Anyone conquered death, grave and even hell…in history?
• And does anyone currently hold the key to eternal life?

As this point…I will just leave these questions for you to ponder and reflect…and I would seriously suggest that you spend part of your time on earth…searching for the answers and truly finding it then believing it with all of your heart…before the end of this futile life.

Now back to our time spent here on earth…the 70+ years as mentioned…

I have lived 36 of them already (yeah…yeah…I am revealing my age) and WOW that means I have at least another 36 years of life to go! Some might say…having another crack at it or a second chance. Would you like a second chance at life? Have you ever thought of going back in time to amend something you said or did or vice versa? Well you have it folks…each one of us (no matter how old we are) can have a second chance…you hold that in your hands. All you have to do is to say YES to whatever it is that might have held you back and you can BEGIN!

But…but…I’m not qualified, not good enough, not young anymore, not that good at speaking/sharing my heart and thoughts, don’t have enough money, don’t have the opportunity, don’t have the skills nor ability, don’t have the desire or heart…and I have a handicap, I have failed, I have been let down, I have been demoralized, I have been shamed, I have not achieved much in life…and the list of disappointments can go on…and on…and on.

If all you are feeling and saying is like what we highlighted above…you are truly living a Futile Life!

I watched Oprah the other day and she was sharing about the “BIG GIVE” (a Seed $ Idea for Volunteers who want to Make a Difference Growing that $ Exponentially for the under privileged) and learn 2 Key lessons from it;

1. People are the same…all over the world…we are in built with a Heart of Compassion and Purpose
2. The Human Spirit knows NO BOUNDS when there is a VISION Driving them Forward

Where is your “heart-beating-for” at this moment? What is your heart saying for you to do? Is there a Vision for your Future (lost somewhere deep within) that is just waiting and yearning to come out?

What or Who is stopping you then? The probable answers could be well…”Others…my Parents…my Wife…my Friends…my Colleagues…my Closest Buddy…my Pastor…my Siblings… STOP! What about YOU? Are YOU stopping yourself from Living the Life you ought to and think you should be?

You might have read of these stats before…but let me vividly take you through them and you can decide where you stand in the midst of all these;

• More than 3.7 billion people in the world live on less than $2 per day
• More than 2.6 billion people—over 40 per cent of the world’s population—do not have basic water sanitation
• 800+ million people go to bed hungry every day…(300 million are children)
• 584 million women are illiterate
• 114 million children do not get even a basic education
• Every year 11 million children die—most under the age of 5…(6 million due to completely preventable causes like malaria, diarrhea and pneumonia)
• Every minute, a woman somewhere dies in pregnancy or childbirth
• Every 3.6 seconds another person dies of starvation and the large majority are children under the age of 5

Now if I were one of these…my life would really look Futile don’t you think?

So what do you have…that makes your life futile? An Education, Safe Drinking Water, Medicine, Food (3-5 times a day), Two Hands and Two Legs (and all parts of your body functioning properly), Parents and Family that Love you, Money in your bank account (for a Holiday, Investment, Rainy Day), a Car, possibly own a Property, a Job, Shoes, Clothing, Gadgets and the list goes on and on…plus Internet that is how you are reading this Blog ; )

You have a choice…what will be yours today? To live this life the same…OR for the next X number of years ahead, to choose to begin afresh, anew…TODAY! Truly forgetting what’s behind you…the mistakes, the trials, the issues, the failures…look ahead. Go out…”Smell the flowers while you can”…and get excited on the many Possibilities of your Extraordinary short existence…and to live your life again! Learn to smile and be thankful for the many fortunate blessings you ‘already’ have in your life.

I challenge you to make a pact (with yourself)…to write your “own History”…the Pen is in Your Hands! Live your Dreams with Passion…and use the years ahead of you to leave a Legacy for the next generation to aspire towards.

I believe in YOU…so start believing in yourself!

Get On Your Boots February 28, 2009

No Line on the Horizon is U2’s latest studio album that was just released in Australia today. I’ve been a U2 fan since 1984 when The Joshua Tree won the Grammy for Album of the Year. It was a sad day for me as Michael Jackson (my Idol then) lost out on the award but that was also a dawning of a new day = a new revelation as I was introduced to a 4 man band (2 Catholics and 2 Protestants) from Dublin, Ireland. They were and still are an inspiration to me as their music/lyrics enthused me to begin writing songs and my love journey with the acoustic guitar.

Have you ever had a moment in your life when things looked dim and ugly (at the start) but turned out for the better later? I guess my U2 experience was something just like that, for me. In fact…every day we live can be a moment of awakening and opportunity to Dream, Live and Make the Best out of what we’ve got. I guess we’ve gotta sometimes look at a situation with eyes wide open and with a different/new perspective too!

My “new career” as a Coach has helped me realize what I truly desire to do…that is to “help ordinary people reach their potential and live extraordinarily!” We all have a choice to make…whether we live this life on the inside or get outside the borders of our comfort and complacency.

Every one of us can participate and make an impact in the life we live…if only we step out and Get on Your Boots! The 1st single from U2’s latest album celebrates our Uniqueness and the “Sound” that we make…but it will only make a relevant change in our life and the life of others, when we put on the Boots and Step OUT!

Are you waiting for something to happen or will you say yes and make it happen?

“You don’t know how beautiful you are…Let me in the sound…Meet me in the sound…Get on your boots” – Bono

Explore, Dream, Discover…Today January 28, 2009

“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.”- Mark Twain

Ever wondered how it would be twenty years from now? Well, twenty years on…will take us to 2029!! How will the world be?…What would you be doing then?…Will we ever see the “Delorian Fly”? (from “Back to the Future”)

Will you be looking back and wondering…hmmm…I wished I did this (and that), I wished I took more risks…If only I made up my mind…What would happen if I had taken the other job or married the other woman?…and the list could go on.

Well it is good to plan and fantasize about the future…and well it is also good to step back and learn from the past (mistakes especially) but the most important key to unlocking your potential and dream is to Live in the NOW! Living in the Present is what you can do, control and bring a positive change for the future…your future!

Someone once said to “live each day as if it were your last”…I believe it was said in the context of living your life with Gusto, Drive, Passion and to the Max. Doing the things that you enjoy (to be at your best), celebrate little successes along the way and looking at life issues with the perspective of “the cup is half full not half empty”. Daily you can also be a blessing to people around you (your children, family, friends), affirming  and encouraging them for what they are doing (and haven’t done) and simply have an attitude to be a “giver rather than a taker”. You can also choose to Smile more, Laugh more and Worry less. ; )

I believe that if we all did the above…the world would definitely be a better place to live in…and come what may, we would have given our all; our mind, our heart and strength…allowing us to live in the peace and with the reassurance that “we have lived”. The choice is yours…how will you live your life?

Yesterday is gone, tomorrow will never come…

all we can do is to make life count and “Live” today!

90 years…and still going strong January 2, 2009

Rolihlahla was Nelson Mandela’s first name which meant, “pulling down the branch of a tree” or “trouble maker”…what a powerful name for a powerful trouble maker. I say that with much respect and admiration, for without his trouble making ways…we might not have experienced a liberated South Africa!

Now at a graceful age of 90 years, Mandela is considered a living legend and is a man that has seen many things in his long, hard fought life. He has taught us many lessons in life…Perseverance/Hope (27 years in jail), Forgiveness (still seeing the Good in others) and Living a Dream (Seeing his people set free!). Prison teaches many things to a person and for Mandela it changed his life…from a young emotional, headstrong, easily stung person to a calm, balanced and disciplined man.

And…if I were to ever live to 90, I would want to see these few things come to pass;

• China, India, Brazil leading the economy as the next superpowers (why not?)
• Communism completely eradicated (YES, YES, YES) and perhaps…
• A One World government (sharing and equalizing wealth across all people groups)

As for “my own world”…

• Australia (my chosen country to live in) become truly liberated – embracing of all cultures without prejudice
• Coaching (Life, Business, etc) be accepted and practiced across the globe and in all sectors
• The Gospel of Jesus Christ being preached to every tongue and tribe

What would be your vision…if you lived to 90?

Anyway, the story does not end with Mandela…this portion comes from a recent Time Magazine feature on his life and he shared his 8 Lessons of Leadership which I want to leave with you;

1. Courage is not the absence of fear – it’s inspiring others to move beyond it!
2. Lead from the front – but don’t leave your base behind
3. Lead from the back – and let others believe they are in front
4. Know your enemy – and learn about their favorite sport
5. Keep your friends close – and your rivals even closer
6. Appearances matter – and remember to smile
7. Nothing is Black or White*
8. Quitting is leading too

Truly, nothing is Black or White*…today we have a Newly elected Black President in the White House in the United States of America. That is groundbreaking/fantastic news and sends a truckload of positive vibes that the world is changing and “anything is possible”. We always need to challenge the norm and ask the question “why not”?

In Coaching…it is the same, with the quiver of Affirmation that Obama (and I’m sure Mandela) would ask us all to resound…it is not a No…but a Big “YES WE CAN!”

2009 will be a year of change…and 2009 will be your year to Shine if you passionately believe it with all your heart!

Rock It! December 30, 2008

It’s at the end of another year and I’m sure we are all looking forward to the festivity and parties going on everywhere! It’s also a time of reflection for the year that has gone by and what we have or have not done too well…

I’m reminded of the saying “if it is not broke don’t fix it” and I must say, I for one do not agree with that in every aspect. As a Coach, I believe we must always challenge what we are doing to the point of being open to change that brings about freshness and a different perspective. My saying will always be “Let’s Rock It”…we all need a bit of rocking of the boat…that could bring about a new and lasting outcome. When Elvis introduced his moves on “live tele” many years ago, many were so taken aback with disgust but for others who were open to the moving of the hips and the swaying to the King in Blues Suede Shoes…we entered into a new era of Rock & Roll!

How does one “Rock It”? Simple…what you are doing today must firstly be different (in parts) vs. what you do tomorrow. One cannot expect the same results doing the same things over and over again…it’s simple unthinkable. Things change, circumstances change, the environment or external factors change and hence we need to change, to not just keep up with the changes but to strategize and visualize different action steps to lead us to this new frontier.

So what will you do differently in 2009?

The other simple point to “Rock It” is to have a change of Mindset! It’s not all the “doing” that will bring us to a new place, sometimes it is also the “thinking”. How is your outlook of things or of your life, going into 2009?

• Is it Positive or Negative?
• Is it Open or Narrow?
  
• Is it Clear or Muggy?
• Is it Calm or Stressed-Out?
  
• Is it Creative or One-Track?

How we think can dramatically impact how we feel and act. We need to decide before going into the New Year…and allow ourselves the time to reflect “holistically” on these simple points.

I wanna wish all of you a Fantastic New Year in 2009…it will be a tough year ahead, but it will certainly be rewarding when we can all say with gusto “Let’s give it a Big Go and ROCK IT!!! in mind, heart, spirit and body/action.