Pride…(In the Name of Love) October 30, 2009

One of the most difficult of words in the English language neither a bombastic word nor a difficult word to spell. In fact it is a word that seems to be the hardest thing to flow out of anyone’s mouth…no matter what the age (from a young rebellious child to a hardened 80 year old man!). It is the word ‘Sorry’. Even Billy Joel seems to agree with that statement through one of his best selling songs.

‘Sorry’…can also be said in many ways, ’soooo soorry’ (sarcastically) to ‘SORRY’ (in anger) to ‘sorry’ (what dear? I can’t quite hear what you said…). A lot of times, the word sorry gets stuck in between the desire to be Right to the fear of being Wrong  and with a twist of deceit of wanting to keep our Pride (and sometimes Face, too). Yes, we ego-centric people living in this modern microwave society are tongue-tied and bashful to say the least, to admit that it was actually ‘my fault’.

What brave souls of the past, I remember watching a golden favorite, “To Kill a Mockingbird” where the main character (an African man) was accused for a crime that he did not commit. I loved his character…so humble, so gentle and without pride (but faced with tons of prejudice)…and you could see that at one point, he even considered taking on the punishment for a crime he did not commit (which made me think that he was willing to say a Silent Sorry for it).

What makes us hold on to our Pride (even when we are wrong and ought to apologize)? I believe it could be a many things from our past and the environment we grew up to the influences we open ourselves to through the years to the all the “standing for our Rights” movement. We all grew up rebelling in a form or other. Turn on the News today and you can see the same things that plagued Bible times…Sin, Lust, Greed, Jealousy, Anger and Pride.

I have through the years, mellowed from a very hot and short tempered man to an almost even tempered and sometimes sliding to the mild tempered side. I could say I have matured, but I like to believe that I have CHOSEN to CHANGE. I saw the pain I personally put my loved ones through the many years and decided that I have to begin to QUIT IT. Yes…time has been the testimony of the changes I have made…I never gave up but most of all, the people who loved me, did NOT Give Up on me! (that was probably my saving Grace).

In the Name of LOVE…the Love I have for my God, the Love I have for my Wife and Family…I made a shift and after many encounters with the dark-side of reality…I finally see the light and I am truly Blessed and Happy about the Journey…in which I am still learning from…each and every day.

Where are you at today? I urge you to Choose Life and take the Stand to walk away from Pride…the beauty of your decision will become a Flower blossoming into your Destiny.

 

Choices… September 29, 2009

Have you ever been asked to do something that you did not want to do (for starters)…but subsequently said YES to? How did that make you feel? Compliant, Used, Disempowered, Angry, Disappointed…or just plain Dumb? Were you complaining under your breath whilst you carried out that job, role, request, promise or favor?

If you have done that before, you are not alone. But who do you blame? No one…but your good self. I encourage you to take up your responsibility and own up to that decision, as it is all about choices! Sometimes we make good ones and other times we make not so good ones (and we’ll have to face the consequences of making either choices).

Of course there are times when the need arises for us to be selfless and help out…but just as important, there are also times that we need to put ourselves first! Uh-huh, you heard what I just said. If we do not know (appreciate) how to put ourselves first, who else will?

One of my favorite authors and Coach is self-care guru Cheryl Richardson. She shares passionately about creating space and loving yourself enough to make time to care for you! If you allow yourself to be a doormat…you have just given up your right to choose (and allow others to step all over you *thank you*).

There will be times in your life when you need to say NO! Of course with a smile and with grace, it is important to stand your ground to keep your priorities in check and in focus. There is much power and responsibility in the choices that we all make.

Will you be able to stand up and be counted for what you (really want to) say and mean?

• NO = I will not marry you until I see you beginning to commit now…not after the marriage…
• NO = I will not take on more responsibilities even if it means I get new job title and a raise…
  
• NO = I will not accept anything that goes against my morals or values…
• NO = I will not be taken for a ride or for granted and my rights are important…
• YES = I will say yes to more work-life balance starting now not tomorrow…
• YES = I will respect myself more vs. be concerned of what others think of me…
• YES = I will appreciate my strengths and not look down on myself and my inabilities…
• YES = I will agree with doing something for someone because I want to…not because I’m obliged to…
• And the list goes on…

What are some tough decisions that you need to make today? Whatever the choice…be confident and be glad that you are making it…by yourself and for yourself! The more you do this, the greater the results you will experience in your life.