The Years of a Futile Life…(Part 1) May 29, 2009

I’ve been writing on this blog for 2+ years now…and sometimes I too struggle to put pen-to-paper…or shall I say type-to-blogspace. Funny how over the years, we have gone from having the need for something like pen and paper to a possible close to zero dependency of it…apart from leaving a note or two…or a couple of greeting cards for Christmas.

I don’t really know who reads this blog…but I guess this is my way of expressing my thoughts and heart…(for my own enjoyment) but I guess this might just be for someone out there who wanted (so coincidentally) to hear about this…who knows??!

I was sharing with my students at class (I lecture on business part-time apart from Coaching)…on how we have progressed so much as a modern society…even the need of a ‘Secretary’ has been drastically reduced and in many instances replaced with an answering message on our phone, a laptop, a wi-fi printer and the frequent Coffee (Latte from the express Coffee joint) below our office. Short-hand writing is now an ancient writing called ’scribbles’ on the wall of a caveman or on my kids bedroom wall… ; )

A famous saying goes “Here Today, Gone Tomorrow”…wow! it is profound yet simple and true.

Today’s blog (or shall I say this month’s blog due to my infrequent entry) is about our ‘futile’ life on this little blimp in space called Earth. Yes…good old life on this Blue Planet. Yup the whole cycle of life is just so surreal that all of us face it day by day and yet no one actually stops to think (I think – pun intended)…why the bloody h#%@ are we here for? Is there truly a bigger purpose than just my dad and mum deciding to have unprotected sex?

And so the story enfolds…

We get born, we drink milk, we poo in our diapers, we crawl, we eat gooey food, we drool, we get changed, we cry, we begin to stand up, we fall, we begin to walk, we fall again, we shout, we begin to teeth, we grow and grow…and experience all this in a more mature way, we learn how to ride a bike, we go to school, we make friends, we sit exams, we aspire to be someone our parents dreamt about, we are pushed to follow what society (and every other important institution) says,  we mature (or so we think), we rebel, we get laid for the first time, we get our car license, we drink and binge drink, we fall for each other (in more ways than just sexual), we wake up early for work, we earn money, we buy the things that we want more so than we need, we aspire to make more money, we eat out all the time, we sleep late, we go clubbing, we make/meet  ‘artificial’ friends, we stress, we twitter/facebook each other, we go for holidays and eat exotic foods, we work our butt out, we fail, we learn, we get married, we have kids of our own, we stress a whole lot more and if by now we don’t drop dead and die early (due to our hectic lifestyle)…we would want to live to see our kids get married, have kids of their own (in this sense making us grandparents God forbid!), then we loose our hair, teeth, grow a big belly due to processed food and the unprocessed food from our microwave diets, we loose respect, dignity when we begin to forget, talk and look dumb, dress strangely, lose our spouse and we fall down (physically), get confined on a wheelchair, wear diapers again and dentures, and hmmm even lose our sight (not completely) and get a heart-attack from watching our favourite football club win the League / Cup and say our last good-byes and kick the bucket!

Crazy isn’t it, to state it all so plainly…well at least some parts of the above are and could come true for most of us! Is that what we all aspire to make our life to be? Well for some (depending in what stage of life you are at)…perhaps MONEY is all that you desire! Or maybe…just HAVING FUN with your mates is the High of your life! Whatever it is…Life is still very very very short and extremely futile (or is it?).

We live…and in a few years we die. I heard someone say…why worry just “enjoy life”! I must admit…I too love that phrase and sometimes wished I could have a special time clock that could go back in time (like Back to the Future) or just stop time for that particular season of my life!

I also hear many younger people saying…when I get older I’m going to do this and that…whilst other older ones saying just the opposite…I wished I did this and that…bummer! Life is one BIG Irony. When we were younger…we desired to be older and now being older we wished the opposite. Some say, 40 is the beginning of the end but others say, 40 and beyond are the ages to be…where we have tasted and seen the world and can now truly enjoy life!

But seriously think about it…WHERE ARE YOU AT TODAY…AND WHAT IS LIFE REALLY ABOUT…FOR YOU?

Are you living just because…?

Are you living the life you wanted?

Are you living for others?

Are you living a lie?

Are you living the life as ‘your’ world depicts of you?

Are you living with regrets?

Are you living without loving?

Are you living or barely surviving?

Are you living and celebrating life?

I don’t know how you fared on the above questions…but I guess it is worth questioning. Hmmm but then again in 50+ years time…no one actually cares…we’d all be dead and gone by then! And so…Are your years of life here on earth FUTILE? (till next month…)

Taking Risks March 27, 2009

How does the word “Risk” sit in your mind? Too dangerous? Well, how does it make you feel? Unsure, Uncertain?

We all react differently in situations and when it comes to taking risks…some of us would shy away from it, whilst others simply thrive on it! (Risk Averse vs. Risk Taker) Have you ever wondered why this is so? I believe we are all wired differently but more importantly there is another more prevailing reason.

There is a direct correlation between the amount of Risk Taken and the amount of Return Expected. Financial Analysts will tell you that Risks = Return (Higher Risks = Higher Returns and vice versa). However…having lead a couple of businesses and lectured in Project Management, I have come to the conclusion that the key in Risk Taking is; “mastering the art of managing risks better”. It is true – Risk is not a wild animal that cannot be tamed!

In fact, making “everyday” decisions in our life involves Risks! But because these decisions are “trivial and small”…we simply don’t think about it…as it becomes second nature and routine – driving to work, cooking a meal in the kitchen, taking a shower. If you really think about it…you could possibly get injured doing any of the above 3 examples! (Did I hear a light bulb moment there?)

So what happens to us when it comes to “NON-everyday” decisions? Why do we just STOP at our tracks and become cautious…numb…and stuck? Is it Fear? Is it Not Knowing the Outcome? Is it simply a Lack of Self-Belief? Well…don’t fret; it happens to the best of us.

Let me share some quick “What-2-do Strategies” when faced with a Risky Moment or Decision Point…

• Get Relevant (More) Information
• Evaluate the What-Ifs
  
• Talk to an Expert (Others who have done it…Well)
• Stay away from Dream-Killers (in the form of Negative people, etc)
  
• Set Clear Objectives and Goals
• Check your “Action” Barriers (e.g.: a Bad Past Experience?)
• Project the End-Benefits in your Mind
  
• Get Clarity of Heart (Linked with your Passions)
  
• Believe in Yourself (and Your Ability)

Incidentally, today I bought a 1999 Saab 9-5 car…it was a Risk, especially when the whole world around me says to get a Japanese badged car which is more reliable, ya-da…ya-da…ya-da. I chose this car after much evaluation and going through the above Strategies. And now I dare say I have “peace in my mind and heart” that this is the Best Choice given my budget, needs and my love (vs. fear) of owning a Continental car.

Have you ever taken any risks in your life?

As one saying goes “If you win, you will be happy; If you lose, you will be wise. Nothing Ventured, Nothing Gained.”

I challenge you today…if you are at a Crossroad of an apparent Risky/Critical Decision…be Bold and Look Risk in the Eye…and say “BRING IT ON!” (of course, please do your ground-work looking at the Strategies above).

If still uncertain, you can always call me up and I can Coach you to Believe in Yourself! (and you’ll be glad to know that I have done this many a times and have been very successfully too) ; )

Go on…take that Risk today!

It’s Time for a REVOLUTION September 1, 2008

I am currently collating my thoughts/ideas (into a framework) for my upcoming book project on Coaching + Culture. I believe this book will challenge our Perspective on life and how we view things around us…I’m just so thrilled and excited to about it!

I simply love working on little projects like this and what a better way than to launch into this New Project IN a New Season. Yes…today is the first day of Spring in Australia! Life abounds and everything is just “buzzing” with fresh enthusiasm.

Have you ever thought of doing little projects for yourself? Ever had a yearning to just do/try something different? To Paint an Oil Portrait, Write an Article, Cook Indian, Build a Cubby House, Go Back to University, Share a Meal with a Stranger, Begin to Love Again, Take a 1 year Caravan Vacation, Work Overseas?

I believe we are all called to Live Boldly/Loudly and Challenge/Explore All Boundaries…after all, we have just this ONE Life to Live! What will you want to be remembered by? Precious Seconds are clicking away. It’s time for a Revolution.

Why Revolution? Because Evolution takes too long. I believe we have allowed things to evolve around us and have become accustomed/complacent to the acceptable change that happens (slow interest rate and inflation climbs, etc). Only a Revolution can bring Change (Long/Life Lasting Change!).

Yes, we also ought to know the Motivation behind the Change and have the Perseverance/Heart to Stick to the Change. And the Change can happen from every facet of our life…how we Think, Treat Others, Share Life, Perceive, Respect, Love…etc. If everyone of us plays our part, the World would fast become a much better place to live in.

It’s Time for a REVOLUTION…will you be part of it?

Will you choose to do something “different” in/for your life…this year…this season…this month…today?

Good Morning China! August 28, 2008

The Beijing Olympics 080808 has come and gone…but what has that left behind for you? For me, many memorable & precious moments plus the feelings of pride, amazement and some deep insights.

Why Pride? Well even though I was not born in China, I come from a Chinese heritage (my ancestors were from China) who later immigrated to Malaysia for a better life. I guess that is what I’m doing for my next generation, here in Australia. I was very proud to see how the Chinese carried out such a efficiently and magnificently run Games! Every little and intricate detail was not spared. This does also reflect how everywhere you go…there is a Chinese doing business and doing it successfully!

Why Amazement? From the Specially Designed Venues (Bird’s Nest, Bubble, etc), to the Fantastic Opening / Closing ceremonies to the Warmth and Support of the Chinese spectators…I believe almost everyone who visited China (Media, Participants, Visitors) would certainly echo how well they were received and treated. It’s probably the best Games yet…in my opinion.

What Deep Insights? Hmmm…there are just too many. Here are just a few;

• Hello World…Behold Modern China!
• Welcome All “We are Open for Business”
• Size Matters (whatever you do, China can do it better and cheaper)
• Excellence is the New Black
• Trustworthy and Consistency (is Back)
• Success is Sweeter and Bountiful

How does this relate to Coaching? Just touching on one point…”Perception can be changed when a New Perspective is Envisioned“. Not too long ago, China was considered as the country that could produce Everything and Anything but there was a Big Question on its Quality and Consistency. Just look at China today…she has truly “woken up” to become a Super-Duper Power of the New Millenium. The Economic World will continue to turn because of China.

Every one of us have the same opportunity to begin our day (or week, project, season, relationship, etc) with a New Perspective. Does the sun need to shine brightly in the morning in order for us to have a good day? Where are you today concerning that?

And so…what will you say? “Good Morning (with a smile)” or Good %#!*^ Morning?????” What will your choice be today?

Winter…Spring…Summer or Fall? July 28, 2008

We are right smack into Winter now (being Southern Hemisphere) and I just feel like being lazy and simply do nothing! So tempted to crawl back into bed and stay in my PJ’s all day long. This is also a season where the sun does not come out too often and heavy dark clouds gloom with threats of possible downpour.

Funnily, the seasons remind me (so much) of how we “perceive” our daily life to be. Dull, Draggy, Stressful, Busy, Tiring, Never-ending Work…instead of Fun, Fulfilling, Wrapped with Passion & Drive and Meaningful. Imagine if ALL of us worked with that New Perspective…Our economy would see a double digit GDP growth overnight!!

If you are feeling like you are in the “middle of Winter” at work and life (home, family, friends)…it’s time to stop and take a temperature check.

Figuratively, I guess that is why some people “run away” from the Cold during Winter and into a Tropical Climate Country for a Holiday. But Objectively, that’s like a person running away from the issues of life. In reality…we must FACE Life vs. making excuses or grumbling or even denying the issues at hand. 

Ask yourself, what season would you really prefer to be in? If it were me, I would trade Winter with Spring or Summer any time. Then…

• Begin by moving your heart and mind…towards that New Season
• Visualize ALL you enjoy about that New Season! 
• Speak New Truths into your spirit…example “I will enjoy work today by positively impacting 1 Colleague today” or “I will love my family as they are, because life is short”.

It does not matter what season you are in, the situation and circumstance surrounding you cannot force you to become/experience, what you choose not to be/feel. So decide today…the choice is yours. 

Put on your Tanning Lotion and have the time of your life! ; )