Pride…(In the Name of Love) October 30, 2009

One of the most difficult of words in the English language neither a bombastic word nor a difficult word to spell. In fact it is a word that seems to be the hardest thing to flow out of anyone’s mouth…no matter what the age (from a young rebellious child to a hardened 80 year old man!). It is the word ‘Sorry’. Even Billy Joel seems to agree with that statement through one of his best selling songs.

‘Sorry’…can also be said in many ways, ’soooo soorry’ (sarcastically) to ‘SORRY’ (in anger) to ‘sorry’ (what dear? I can’t quite hear what you said…). A lot of times, the word sorry gets stuck in between the desire to be Right to the fear of being Wrong  and with a twist of deceit of wanting to keep our Pride (and sometimes Face, too). Yes, we ego-centric people living in this modern microwave society are tongue-tied and bashful to say the least, to admit that it was actually ‘my fault’.

What brave souls of the past, I remember watching a golden favorite, “To Kill a Mockingbird” where the main character (an African man) was accused for a crime that he did not commit. I loved his character…so humble, so gentle and without pride (but faced with tons of prejudice)…and you could see that at one point, he even considered taking on the punishment for a crime he did not commit (which made me think that he was willing to say a Silent Sorry for it).

What makes us hold on to our Pride (even when we are wrong and ought to apologize)? I believe it could be a many things from our past and the environment we grew up to the influences we open ourselves to through the years to the all the “standing for our Rights” movement. We all grew up rebelling in a form or other. Turn on the News today and you can see the same things that plagued Bible times…Sin, Lust, Greed, Jealousy, Anger and Pride.

I have through the years, mellowed from a very hot and short tempered man to an almost even tempered and sometimes sliding to the mild tempered side. I could say I have matured, but I like to believe that I have CHOSEN to CHANGE. I saw the pain I personally put my loved ones through the many years and decided that I have to begin to QUIT IT. Yes…time has been the testimony of the changes I have made…I never gave up but most of all, the people who loved me, did NOT Give Up on me! (that was probably my saving Grace).

In the Name of LOVE…the Love I have for my God, the Love I have for my Wife and Family…I made a shift and after many encounters with the dark-side of reality…I finally see the light and I am truly Blessed and Happy about the Journey…in which I am still learning from…each and every day.

Where are you at today? I urge you to Choose Life and take the Stand to walk away from Pride…the beauty of your decision will become a Flower blossoming into your Destiny.

 

Stay or Jump? July 16, 2009

Have you ever been on a Boat Ride that was rocky and bumpy all the way to your destination? I for one do not enjoy a rocky boat ride. There was once I threw up all over the side of the boat whilst it anchored itself in ocean on a fishing trip. I did not manage to fish that day…but I’m sure the fish had a gala time with my “offerings”.

You know…you don’t have to be on any “boat” if you choose otherwise. But you have to realize that once you agree to go for the ride…you are at the mercy of the open waters.

When I coach, I often encounter clients feeling stuck and they often wonder why/how they ended up on a boat (of life) that they did not want to be on, in the first place. They just either went along with it…or just did not think of questioning their decision at that point of time. And hence, I would ask them this; “now that you are on the boat…what do you want to do?“

Realizing that instead of moping around or complain, they soon realize that they have a few choices

• enjoy the journey (smile bravely at the storm?)
• take over the boat (by force or negotiation?) or
• simply get off the boat!

You see…life can sometimes keep us “captive”…but I’m sure when we come to our senses, we know better and acknowledge that we have a choice. Be bold and take that step of faith! I challenge you to make a decision today to step out of your “captivity/prison/comfort zone” and perhaps…jump out of the boat!

What will be your choice today?

The Best and the Beast April 16, 2009

It’s April and we are in the midst of Autumn…it is simply beautiful to watch Nature takes it course. The economic scenario bears similar resemblance…as the Southern Hemisphere gets ready for Winter, the scenario according to economists will be looking much worst.

Boosting Confidence and Throwing Government Stimulus to the Public (as in Australia) can only have a short-term effect but the longer trend will prevail. Just as Nature must take it’s course…so must the economy. Companies that have been prudent making wise, long-term decisions in good times will stand a better chance at making it to the end of this gloomy cycle. But what else can be done?

I believe a Downturn or a Personal Crisis in Life will only bring out the Best and the Beast in people! What holds true to the end is not just the accumulated wealth, skills/knowledge base or structured processes (even though I believe they do play a part)…the Key is the Strength of the Core Values that Leads to a Way of Life!

What is driving a Company? I used to work for Johnson and Johnson (ASEAN) and I remember the Strong Internal CREDO that each J&J staff must hold true at work and with all external parties. One Key Value was the Strong Appreciation of People/Staff and their Overall Growth/Welfare. I believe companies like a J&J will continue to grow and as a pivotal company way into the 21st Century. Why? They are bound by Strong Values and more importantly Live by them!

Companies that crack under pressure during this Great Recession (we’ve just seen a few with many MORE coming…like the Car Companies, Consulting Firms, Banks, etc)…have only themselves to blame! I believe their Values got “screwed-up” along the way and they forgot their real reason for existence (besides just making lotsa money).

As a Certified Professional Coach, I hold true to the Code of Ethics with the International Coach Federation (ICF). As a Born Again Christian, I hold true to all Truth from the Living Word of GOD for my life! That’s me…what about you?

What are your Values, your Credo? What do you think makes “YOU”? When things don’t seem to go the way it should be for your life and the world around you…how will you act, react, respond?

The decisions you make today according or against your true Values will make OR break your future! It’s high time to re-evaluate our lives and Values and then persevere with Passion to Live our Dream…(not others). And don’t wait till the Recession is over or when the next Bright and Sunny season comes…Begin today!

Explore, Dream, Discover…Today January 28, 2009

“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.”- Mark Twain

Ever wondered how it would be twenty years from now? Well, twenty years on…will take us to 2029!! How will the world be?…What would you be doing then?…Will we ever see the “Delorian Fly”? (from “Back to the Future”)

Will you be looking back and wondering…hmmm…I wished I did this (and that), I wished I took more risks…If only I made up my mind…What would happen if I had taken the other job or married the other woman?…and the list could go on.

Well it is good to plan and fantasize about the future…and well it is also good to step back and learn from the past (mistakes especially) but the most important key to unlocking your potential and dream is to Live in the NOW! Living in the Present is what you can do, control and bring a positive change for the future…your future!

Someone once said to “live each day as if it were your last”…I believe it was said in the context of living your life with Gusto, Drive, Passion and to the Max. Doing the things that you enjoy (to be at your best), celebrate little successes along the way and looking at life issues with the perspective of “the cup is half full not half empty”. Daily you can also be a blessing to people around you (your children, family, friends), affirming  and encouraging them for what they are doing (and haven’t done) and simply have an attitude to be a “giver rather than a taker”. You can also choose to Smile more, Laugh more and Worry less. ; )

I believe that if we all did the above…the world would definitely be a better place to live in…and come what may, we would have given our all; our mind, our heart and strength…allowing us to live in the peace and with the reassurance that “we have lived”. The choice is yours…how will you live your life?

Yesterday is gone, tomorrow will never come…

all we can do is to make life count and “Live” today!

90 years…and still going strong January 2, 2009

Rolihlahla was Nelson Mandela’s first name which meant, “pulling down the branch of a tree” or “trouble maker”…what a powerful name for a powerful trouble maker. I say that with much respect and admiration, for without his trouble making ways…we might not have experienced a liberated South Africa!

Now at a graceful age of 90 years, Mandela is considered a living legend and is a man that has seen many things in his long, hard fought life. He has taught us many lessons in life…Perseverance/Hope (27 years in jail), Forgiveness (still seeing the Good in others) and Living a Dream (Seeing his people set free!). Prison teaches many things to a person and for Mandela it changed his life…from a young emotional, headstrong, easily stung person to a calm, balanced and disciplined man.

And…if I were to ever live to 90, I would want to see these few things come to pass;

• China, India, Brazil leading the economy as the next superpowers (why not?)
• Communism completely eradicated (YES, YES, YES) and perhaps…
• A One World government (sharing and equalizing wealth across all people groups)

As for “my own world”…

• Australia (my chosen country to live in) become truly liberated – embracing of all cultures without prejudice
• Coaching (Life, Business, etc) be accepted and practiced across the globe and in all sectors
• The Gospel of Jesus Christ being preached to every tongue and tribe

What would be your vision…if you lived to 90?

Anyway, the story does not end with Mandela…this portion comes from a recent Time Magazine feature on his life and he shared his 8 Lessons of Leadership which I want to leave with you;

1. Courage is not the absence of fear – it’s inspiring others to move beyond it!
2. Lead from the front – but don’t leave your base behind
3. Lead from the back – and let others believe they are in front
4. Know your enemy – and learn about their favorite sport
5. Keep your friends close – and your rivals even closer
6. Appearances matter – and remember to smile
7. Nothing is Black or White*
8. Quitting is leading too

Truly, nothing is Black or White*…today we have a Newly elected Black President in the White House in the United States of America. That is groundbreaking/fantastic news and sends a truckload of positive vibes that the world is changing and “anything is possible”. We always need to challenge the norm and ask the question “why not”?

In Coaching…it is the same, with the quiver of Affirmation that Obama (and I’m sure Mandela) would ask us all to resound…it is not a No…but a Big “YES WE CAN!”

2009 will be a year of change…and 2009 will be your year to Shine if you passionately believe it with all your heart!

Global Economic Crisis… October 28, 2008

Over the last 2 months, we have seen a glimpse of the near future. And I’m not wanting to sound like a Gloom/Doom Prophet, but I believe we are heading towards a future that looks a little bleak (to say the least). Living in Australia (over the last 3 years) has been great with a minor exception now; the infamous AUD$ has dropped by 40% vs. the USD$ over this short period! Amazingly sad and simply unbelievable.

I guess the question is…“so what do we do now?”

Do we cease all we do and simply watch the daily news on the financial crisis…like a terminal patient just waiting for his/her “time”…or do we crawl into our Caves and plan for the similar Y2K scare of the past…or do we sit back and watch with fear/disbelief…have you thought about it?

The economic situation is bound to hit you sooner or later…so the more prepared you are…the better! Preparation takes time and thought…but the simplest 1st step that you can do is to “take stock” of your weekly/monthly Revenue vs. Expenses and begin taking steps/discipline to cut back! (now vs. later).

Another good step is to re-evaluate the Need vs. Want in your spending…especially with the Christmas Shopping period arriving. There are many things you can do to be more prudent (free up cash-flow, buy precious metals/gold, invest in blue chip “rock-steady” companies, rent vs. buy a house, research the historical lessons of the past, talk to a financial planner, sell unwanted items on ebay, become close friends with a banker, pray more, etc).

This Economic season is also a chance for us to think with a New Perspective…yes, be sensitive (don’t listen) to everything the News/Media bombards you with. Challenge it! I’m sure you are aware by now, that Negative Press and Doom News are always the Top News of every-day…after all, they are the Money spinners!

There is a Chinese Character for the word “CRISIS” which is a good analogy (for times like these) to help us consider how we frame things/events, we experience in our life. The 2 words that “come together” to make the word CRISES is DANGER and OPPORTUNITY. Of course, it is wrong to equate these into a simple mathematical equation but the fact of the matter is; in every Crisis…there is Danger and there are Opportunities as well!

As a Coach, I would challenge and enthuse my Clients to always think and look at life in a POSITIVE light. Research has shown that the more people look at their lives Positively and look at their Strengths (vs. Weaknesses)…their lives will abound and excel. Strengths-based Development has proven to Boost employee productivity and engagement and increase organizational performance!

In closing, what will you be thinking…feeling…trying…and doing differently in these days of Crisis, Danger and Opportunity?

Good Morning China! August 28, 2008

The Beijing Olympics 080808 has come and gone…but what has that left behind for you? For me, many memorable & precious moments plus the feelings of pride, amazement and some deep insights.

Why Pride? Well even though I was not born in China, I come from a Chinese heritage (my ancestors were from China) who later immigrated to Malaysia for a better life. I guess that is what I’m doing for my next generation, here in Australia. I was very proud to see how the Chinese carried out such a efficiently and magnificently run Games! Every little and intricate detail was not spared. This does also reflect how everywhere you go…there is a Chinese doing business and doing it successfully!

Why Amazement? From the Specially Designed Venues (Bird’s Nest, Bubble, etc), to the Fantastic Opening / Closing ceremonies to the Warmth and Support of the Chinese spectators…I believe almost everyone who visited China (Media, Participants, Visitors) would certainly echo how well they were received and treated. It’s probably the best Games yet…in my opinion.

What Deep Insights? Hmmm…there are just too many. Here are just a few;

• Hello World…Behold Modern China!
• Welcome All “We are Open for Business”
• Size Matters (whatever you do, China can do it better and cheaper)
• Excellence is the New Black
• Trustworthy and Consistency (is Back)
• Success is Sweeter and Bountiful

How does this relate to Coaching? Just touching on one point…”Perception can be changed when a New Perspective is Envisioned“. Not too long ago, China was considered as the country that could produce Everything and Anything but there was a Big Question on its Quality and Consistency. Just look at China today…she has truly “woken up” to become a Super-Duper Power of the New Millenium. The Economic World will continue to turn because of China.

Every one of us have the same opportunity to begin our day (or week, project, season, relationship, etc) with a New Perspective. Does the sun need to shine brightly in the morning in order for us to have a good day? Where are you today concerning that?

And so…what will you say? “Good Morning (with a smile)” or Good %#!*^ Morning?????” What will your choice be today?

Winter…Spring…Summer or Fall? July 28, 2008

We are right smack into Winter now (being Southern Hemisphere) and I just feel like being lazy and simply do nothing! So tempted to crawl back into bed and stay in my PJ’s all day long. This is also a season where the sun does not come out too often and heavy dark clouds gloom with threats of possible downpour.

Funnily, the seasons remind me (so much) of how we “perceive” our daily life to be. Dull, Draggy, Stressful, Busy, Tiring, Never-ending Work…instead of Fun, Fulfilling, Wrapped with Passion & Drive and Meaningful. Imagine if ALL of us worked with that New Perspective…Our economy would see a double digit GDP growth overnight!!

If you are feeling like you are in the “middle of Winter” at work and life (home, family, friends)…it’s time to stop and take a temperature check.

Figuratively, I guess that is why some people “run away” from the Cold during Winter and into a Tropical Climate Country for a Holiday. But Objectively, that’s like a person running away from the issues of life. In reality…we must FACE Life vs. making excuses or grumbling or even denying the issues at hand. 

Ask yourself, what season would you really prefer to be in? If it were me, I would trade Winter with Spring or Summer any time. Then…

• Begin by moving your heart and mind…towards that New Season
• Visualize ALL you enjoy about that New Season! 
• Speak New Truths into your spirit…example “I will enjoy work today by positively impacting 1 Colleague today” or “I will love my family as they are, because life is short”.

It does not matter what season you are in, the situation and circumstance surrounding you cannot force you to become/experience, what you choose not to be/feel. So decide today…the choice is yours. 

Put on your Tanning Lotion and have the time of your life! ; )

The 4 F’s – That Can Change Your Life May 24, 2008

“What is the 1 Thing that you need to do to Improve (the Quality of) Your Life, that you are just so afraid of attempting/doing?”

What’s stopping you?…I believe it is Fear! Yes…it is a huge word, that would scare the living daylights out of anyone. And if you are one who says…”I fear not”, you are simply not telling the truth!

Some of us fear the unknown, the reaction of others, at times it could be ’something or someone’…as fear comes in many shapes and sizes. But if you really think about it, fear is just a normal part of human life.

The more important question is “how and what are we doing to face our fears?” If you take steps at confronting your fear/s…you are one step ahead to an amazing life ahead!

As a Coach, I am constantly faced with Clients who have fear in their life…perhaps at the start they were unwilling to face their fears…but steadily as time progresses, they become open and stronger…and with much gusto they mirror the likes of David who overcame the Giant Goliath! (The BIG Fear). Therefore, the first “F” for me is FACE/FIGHT Fear. 

And in the process of Fighting Fear, another “3 F’s” are needed; They are Friends, Facts and Faith! 

FRIENDS - they are people you can trust, count on for support and help to face triumphs and fears together. who are they in your life? identify them and begin that ‘real’ relationship with them.

FACTS - we might just need to do some fact-finding, research, gather information, a new point of view. what’s the missing ingredient/s? once we know more…we become less unsure…we begin to understand and picture things in better light.

FAITH – is the most important element in my opinion, the ‘Almighty’ leap! whether it may be believing in a Higher Being or in yourself…you gotta have faith! the belief that you can do something is more important than the success of it.

So whenever you are faced with Fear again…remember the 4 F’s! I believe they will Change the Course of your Life forever!

Are you READY to take the Big Jump today?

Who Switched On the Light? October 15, 2007

You know…there are just so many things to be done around the house; the grass needs cutting, the windows needs wiping, the carpet needs vacuuming…and just sometimes, the light bulb needs changing.

A couple of months ago, one of our light bulbs over our dining table blew. Initially, I tried changing the light bulb (it’s one of those downlights) but the casing was abnormally (and terribly) stuck! After trying to pry it open with many sharp objects…I simply gave up.

Over the next few months, the family just lived with the fact of one less light bulb over the dinner table. Yes…we kinda accepted the status quo and dived into a circumstantial comfort zone.

It was funny but it took an old friend to share the insight of taking out the entire light bulb casing from the ceiling (thankfully another light bulb blew whilst he was visiting). And as I later learnt, the whole mechanism was connected with 2 simple spring coils. Oh…what a lesson to learn (& an embarrassing one too)…which really opened my eyes!

Once learning this…I quickly dashed into my dining area and got onto the table, pulled down the entire casing and changed the light bulb there. ”BOOM”…there was Light!!!…and the Light was so overwhelming. And we instantly realized what we were missing over these many months…practically eating “in the dark”.

Sometimes…that happens to the best of us, and in so many different ways. Doesn’t it? The Big Question is…“Are we ready to get out of where we are?” If so, Get Ready…Seek Counsel…Take Action…and simply Allow The Light to Enter.

“Positive Change brings about Positive Light…that shines out Clarity & Vision” – Anonymous