Choices… September 29, 2009

Have you ever been asked to do something that you did not want to do (for starters)…but subsequently said YES to? How did that make you feel? Compliant, Used, Disempowered, Angry, Disappointed…or just plain Dumb? Were you complaining under your breath whilst you carried out that job, role, request, promise or favor?

If you have done that before, you are not alone. But who do you blame? No one…but your good self. I encourage you to take up your responsibility and own up to that decision, as it is all about choices! Sometimes we make good ones and other times we make not so good ones (and we’ll have to face the consequences of making either choices).

Of course there are times when the need arises for us to be selfless and help out…but just as important, there are also times that we need to put ourselves first! Uh-huh, you heard what I just said. If we do not know (appreciate) how to put ourselves first, who else will?

One of my favorite authors and Coach is self-care guru Cheryl Richardson. She shares passionately about creating space and loving yourself enough to make time to care for you! If you allow yourself to be a doormat…you have just given up your right to choose (and allow others to step all over you *thank you*).

There will be times in your life when you need to say NO! Of course with a smile and with grace, it is important to stand your ground to keep your priorities in check and in focus. There is much power and responsibility in the choices that we all make.

Will you be able to stand up and be counted for what you (really want to) say and mean?

• NO = I will not marry you until I see you beginning to commit now…not after the marriage…
• NO = I will not take on more responsibilities even if it means I get new job title and a raise…
  
• NO = I will not accept anything that goes against my morals or values…
• NO = I will not be taken for a ride or for granted and my rights are important…
• YES = I will say yes to more work-life balance starting now not tomorrow…
• YES = I will respect myself more vs. be concerned of what others think of me…
• YES = I will appreciate my strengths and not look down on myself and my inabilities…
• YES = I will agree with doing something for someone because I want to…not because I’m obliged to…
• And the list goes on…

What are some tough decisions that you need to make today? Whatever the choice…be confident and be glad that you are making it…by yourself and for yourself! The more you do this, the greater the results you will experience in your life.

The Years of a Futile Life…(Part 1) May 29, 2009

I’ve been writing on this blog for 2+ years now…and sometimes I too struggle to put pen-to-paper…or shall I say type-to-blogspace. Funny how over the years, we have gone from having the need for something like pen and paper to a possible close to zero dependency of it…apart from leaving a note or two…or a couple of greeting cards for Christmas.

I don’t really know who reads this blog…but I guess this is my way of expressing my thoughts and heart…(for my own enjoyment) but I guess this might just be for someone out there who wanted (so coincidentally) to hear about this…who knows??!

I was sharing with my students at class (I lecture on business part-time apart from Coaching)…on how we have progressed so much as a modern society…even the need of a ‘Secretary’ has been drastically reduced and in many instances replaced with an answering message on our phone, a laptop, a wi-fi printer and the frequent Coffee (Latte from the express Coffee joint) below our office. Short-hand writing is now an ancient writing called ’scribbles’ on the wall of a caveman or on my kids bedroom wall… ; )

A famous saying goes “Here Today, Gone Tomorrow”…wow! it is profound yet simple and true.

Today’s blog (or shall I say this month’s blog due to my infrequent entry) is about our ‘futile’ life on this little blimp in space called Earth. Yes…good old life on this Blue Planet. Yup the whole cycle of life is just so surreal that all of us face it day by day and yet no one actually stops to think (I think – pun intended)…why the bloody h#%@ are we here for? Is there truly a bigger purpose than just my dad and mum deciding to have unprotected sex?

And so the story enfolds…

We get born, we drink milk, we poo in our diapers, we crawl, we eat gooey food, we drool, we get changed, we cry, we begin to stand up, we fall, we begin to walk, we fall again, we shout, we begin to teeth, we grow and grow…and experience all this in a more mature way, we learn how to ride a bike, we go to school, we make friends, we sit exams, we aspire to be someone our parents dreamt about, we are pushed to follow what society (and every other important institution) says,  we mature (or so we think), we rebel, we get laid for the first time, we get our car license, we drink and binge drink, we fall for each other (in more ways than just sexual), we wake up early for work, we earn money, we buy the things that we want more so than we need, we aspire to make more money, we eat out all the time, we sleep late, we go clubbing, we make/meet  ‘artificial’ friends, we stress, we twitter/facebook each other, we go for holidays and eat exotic foods, we work our butt out, we fail, we learn, we get married, we have kids of our own, we stress a whole lot more and if by now we don’t drop dead and die early (due to our hectic lifestyle)…we would want to live to see our kids get married, have kids of their own (in this sense making us grandparents God forbid!), then we loose our hair, teeth, grow a big belly due to processed food and the unprocessed food from our microwave diets, we loose respect, dignity when we begin to forget, talk and look dumb, dress strangely, lose our spouse and we fall down (physically), get confined on a wheelchair, wear diapers again and dentures, and hmmm even lose our sight (not completely) and get a heart-attack from watching our favourite football club win the League / Cup and say our last good-byes and kick the bucket!

Crazy isn’t it, to state it all so plainly…well at least some parts of the above are and could come true for most of us! Is that what we all aspire to make our life to be? Well for some (depending in what stage of life you are at)…perhaps MONEY is all that you desire! Or maybe…just HAVING FUN with your mates is the High of your life! Whatever it is…Life is still very very very short and extremely futile (or is it?).

We live…and in a few years we die. I heard someone say…why worry just “enjoy life”! I must admit…I too love that phrase and sometimes wished I could have a special time clock that could go back in time (like Back to the Future) or just stop time for that particular season of my life!

I also hear many younger people saying…when I get older I’m going to do this and that…whilst other older ones saying just the opposite…I wished I did this and that…bummer! Life is one BIG Irony. When we were younger…we desired to be older and now being older we wished the opposite. Some say, 40 is the beginning of the end but others say, 40 and beyond are the ages to be…where we have tasted and seen the world and can now truly enjoy life!

But seriously think about it…WHERE ARE YOU AT TODAY…AND WHAT IS LIFE REALLY ABOUT…FOR YOU?

Are you living just because…?

Are you living the life you wanted?

Are you living for others?

Are you living a lie?

Are you living the life as ‘your’ world depicts of you?

Are you living with regrets?

Are you living without loving?

Are you living or barely surviving?

Are you living and celebrating life?

I don’t know how you fared on the above questions…but I guess it is worth questioning. Hmmm but then again in 50+ years time…no one actually cares…we’d all be dead and gone by then! And so…Are your years of life here on earth FUTILE? (till next month…)

So this is Christmas… November 27, 2008

Yes…its Christmas again. It is the season I loved most since I was a kid growing up in Malaysia. Why? It is the holiday season…away from school, teachers, homework and just a time to play > play > play! It is a time where I got presents too…and not just because I was good ; )

Well Christmas these days have taken a different feel and meaning for me. It is a time for Family (eating and enjoying quality time together), Giving (especially to the less fortunate) and a time for Deep Reflection.

Yes…Reflection…because in a few days after Christmas would be New Year…which also means, it is another year gone by. I would always think and evaluate many things in this season, in terms of achievement of certain Milestones I set at the start of the year, having a time to ponder over areas in which I would want to make Amends / Change (for the better) and it is always a time for Celebrating Successes!

As a Coach…I would ask my Clients the following questions;

• How has the year been for you?
• How has your health, relationships, work-life balance been?
• Are you happy with your progress towards being the person you want/ought to be?
• Are your dreams getting closer and closer to becoming a reality?
• Are you taking steps forward towards achieving your goals? 
• What are some things you want to Start, Stop and Continue for the New Year?
• Are you willing to acknowledge / affirm someone who has impacted you this year? How?
• and many many more…

Christmas is also the time where I wonder why 2000 years ago…the Creator of the Universe would send His Only Son to earth. And when I reflect on this message of truth…I am struck with awe and wonder of the LOVE that He had and still have for us all. Hence, the true meaning of Christmas eventuates into something more beautiful. It was His example that enthuses (drives) me to Share, Give and Celebrate Life in the most meaningful and impactful way to everyone! What is your driver towards life?

Merry Christmas to you all…I hope this year, the message of Christmas will resonate deeper as you take a step closer to finding your moments of truth behind the reason for the season.

And so…”this IS Christmas”!

Global Economic Crisis… October 28, 2008

Over the last 2 months, we have seen a glimpse of the near future. And I’m not wanting to sound like a Gloom/Doom Prophet, but I believe we are heading towards a future that looks a little bleak (to say the least). Living in Australia (over the last 3 years) has been great with a minor exception now; the infamous AUD$ has dropped by 40% vs. the USD$ over this short period! Amazingly sad and simply unbelievable.

I guess the question is…“so what do we do now?”

Do we cease all we do and simply watch the daily news on the financial crisis…like a terminal patient just waiting for his/her “time”…or do we crawl into our Caves and plan for the similar Y2K scare of the past…or do we sit back and watch with fear/disbelief…have you thought about it?

The economic situation is bound to hit you sooner or later…so the more prepared you are…the better! Preparation takes time and thought…but the simplest 1st step that you can do is to “take stock” of your weekly/monthly Revenue vs. Expenses and begin taking steps/discipline to cut back! (now vs. later).

Another good step is to re-evaluate the Need vs. Want in your spending…especially with the Christmas Shopping period arriving. There are many things you can do to be more prudent (free up cash-flow, buy precious metals/gold, invest in blue chip “rock-steady” companies, rent vs. buy a house, research the historical lessons of the past, talk to a financial planner, sell unwanted items on ebay, become close friends with a banker, pray more, etc).

This Economic season is also a chance for us to think with a New Perspective…yes, be sensitive (don’t listen) to everything the News/Media bombards you with. Challenge it! I’m sure you are aware by now, that Negative Press and Doom News are always the Top News of every-day…after all, they are the Money spinners!

There is a Chinese Character for the word “CRISIS” which is a good analogy (for times like these) to help us consider how we frame things/events, we experience in our life. The 2 words that “come together” to make the word CRISES is DANGER and OPPORTUNITY. Of course, it is wrong to equate these into a simple mathematical equation but the fact of the matter is; in every Crisis…there is Danger and there are Opportunities as well!

As a Coach, I would challenge and enthuse my Clients to always think and look at life in a POSITIVE light. Research has shown that the more people look at their lives Positively and look at their Strengths (vs. Weaknesses)…their lives will abound and excel. Strengths-based Development has proven to Boost employee productivity and engagement and increase organizational performance!

In closing, what will you be thinking…feeling…trying…and doing differently in these days of Crisis, Danger and Opportunity?

The 4 F’s – That Can Change Your Life May 24, 2008

“What is the 1 Thing that you need to do to Improve (the Quality of) Your Life, that you are just so afraid of attempting/doing?”

What’s stopping you?…I believe it is Fear! Yes…it is a huge word, that would scare the living daylights out of anyone. And if you are one who says…”I fear not”, you are simply not telling the truth!

Some of us fear the unknown, the reaction of others, at times it could be ’something or someone’…as fear comes in many shapes and sizes. But if you really think about it, fear is just a normal part of human life.

The more important question is “how and what are we doing to face our fears?” If you take steps at confronting your fear/s…you are one step ahead to an amazing life ahead!

As a Coach, I am constantly faced with Clients who have fear in their life…perhaps at the start they were unwilling to face their fears…but steadily as time progresses, they become open and stronger…and with much gusto they mirror the likes of David who overcame the Giant Goliath! (The BIG Fear). Therefore, the first “F” for me is FACE/FIGHT Fear. 

And in the process of Fighting Fear, another “3 F’s” are needed; They are Friends, Facts and Faith! 

FRIENDS - they are people you can trust, count on for support and help to face triumphs and fears together. who are they in your life? identify them and begin that ‘real’ relationship with them.

FACTS - we might just need to do some fact-finding, research, gather information, a new point of view. what’s the missing ingredient/s? once we know more…we become less unsure…we begin to understand and picture things in better light.

FAITH – is the most important element in my opinion, the ‘Almighty’ leap! whether it may be believing in a Higher Being or in yourself…you gotta have faith! the belief that you can do something is more important than the success of it.

So whenever you are faced with Fear again…remember the 4 F’s! I believe they will Change the Course of your Life forever!

Are you READY to take the Big Jump today?

Choose Life February 16, 2008

I don’t know if you remember, when WHAM (the Duo from England) smashed into the Music Scene with “Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go”, George Michael was seen on the Music Video with a White T-Shirt with Black Copy reading “Choose Life”. I certainly remember it…as it was a great HIT to dance and sing along to (it still is today).

But coming back to the words “Choose Life”. What does this mean? To some, nothing much but to simply live the life they have been given; and yet to some others, it is an invitation to abandon the monotony of life and to begin an Adventure.

By definition, an Adventure is “an undertaking or enterprise of a hazardous nature”…WOW…does it really say that? I guess the question is…”Are we willing?

• to start something that we have been putting off
• to move from where we are to a new place of being
• to endeavour something new and different
• to live with a new focus and passion

For me, the day I CHOSE to become a Coach…was the day I started a Brand New Adventure, that would take me to places and people that I would not have imagined.

Are you at a crossroad today? Are you tired of (your) life as it is? Are you constantly thinking how the “grass looks greener” on the other side? Are you thinking of throwing in the towel over a situation/person?

If you feel any of the above…may I challenge you to take a moment to rest, reflect and rally you to CHOOSE LIFE. You have all it takes…YES…I believe you have what it takes to begin a Great Adventure!!!

Are you willing to take that Step…

Downtime November 8, 2007

Spring is finally ending and nature has run its course…budding and blooming to its FULL potential. Unfortunately, there are also more little creatures / bugs in the air this time of the year. And one of these bugs has just bombarded my household and occupants…funnily, apart from myself. Thank God, they have all recovered from this ravishing flu viral / bug that it decided to suddenly land on me!!

WOW…what a feeling…lost of appetite, losing of fluids, feeling the chills and feverish at the same time, a splitting headache…I really dislike this feeling. This is truly a “downtime” where I am concerned, as I am sleeping 10 + more hour days.  Of course, during this empty fleeting time where I am not achieving anything (so to speak) is also a wonderful time to spend just slowing down and reflecting. How we sometimes take many things for granted…even life and health itself.

It is also a time for Self Care at the highest! I am boosting myself with Immune Boosters, Vitamin Pills / Drinks that would help battle the condition that I am in. Isn’t it an Irony to take care of oneself in times of trouble?

What I learnt from this “downtime” experience (amidst my recovery)…is to take things at a slower pace…better appreciate people and things around me and to take care of the Important things in my life (ie: health)…like a familiar saying to NOT miss something…ONLY when it’s gone! 

Are you facing a “downtime” situation in your life now? Take heart…embrace it and be confident…you will surely overcome. But do also remember this could just be…a Defining Moment in the Making.  ”smile”

Who Switched On the Light? October 15, 2007

You know…there are just so many things to be done around the house; the grass needs cutting, the windows needs wiping, the carpet needs vacuuming…and just sometimes, the light bulb needs changing.

A couple of months ago, one of our light bulbs over our dining table blew. Initially, I tried changing the light bulb (it’s one of those downlights) but the casing was abnormally (and terribly) stuck! After trying to pry it open with many sharp objects…I simply gave up.

Over the next few months, the family just lived with the fact of one less light bulb over the dinner table. Yes…we kinda accepted the status quo and dived into a circumstantial comfort zone.

It was funny but it took an old friend to share the insight of taking out the entire light bulb casing from the ceiling (thankfully another light bulb blew whilst he was visiting). And as I later learnt, the whole mechanism was connected with 2 simple spring coils. Oh…what a lesson to learn (& an embarrassing one too)…which really opened my eyes!

Once learning this…I quickly dashed into my dining area and got onto the table, pulled down the entire casing and changed the light bulb there. ”BOOM”…there was Light!!!…and the Light was so overwhelming. And we instantly realized what we were missing over these many months…practically eating “in the dark”.

Sometimes…that happens to the best of us, and in so many different ways. Doesn’t it? The Big Question is…“Are we ready to get out of where we are?” If so, Get Ready…Seek Counsel…Take Action…and simply Allow The Light to Enter.

“Positive Change brings about Positive Light…that shines out Clarity & Vision” – Anonymous

The Power of Words August 17, 2007

Its funny but the Bible talks about how God created the Universe by simply “speaking” it to being. Believe it or not…words CAN have the Power to Build and conversely, the Power to Destroy!

I have heard of research showing Plants Flourishing and Growing Bountifully, when “Beautiful Words” are spoken to it on a Regular Basis, and the opposite is true. Not surprisingly, this works for humans too.

Words are so Powerful that it can resonate within us for many years. I for one, can still vividly remember the times when I was made to feel small…by words. Do you recall a time like this, when you were “let down” by harsh words spoken to you?

We ALL need to hear words of encouragement, motivation, joy, peace, comfort, love and other genuine words that lift our soul. And as often as we like to hear (and receive) such words, we must be reminded that it is also our duty to speak (and give) these “words of Life” to others.  

Are you ready to begin speaking powerful words to people around you? If yes, then think of 5 people today and take a moment to ponder what you would say…Just take 1 minute (each person) and begin to speak these Living Words into their hearts and lives…you will be amazed by the Power of Words…the power that will make a difference in their life today.

“Begin each day with a Powerful Thought, End each day with a Poweful Word” – LCM

Be Quiet… August 8, 2007

It has certainly been a while since I wrote a blog for this site…funny how i just did not feel like writing. Have you ever felt that way before?

Of course this was coupled with the fact that I was between jobs and (thank God) finally landing myself with a great opportunity which also beckons to become the toughest job of my career. Perhaps I will share more about what I have learnt though this journey…in days to come.

But for today, I would like to just share how we can be in Touch with ourselves. In today’s fast-paced microwave society, this is practically unheard of (sometimes unwanted, undesired). We are all bent on following the grooves (& influences) of this world, may it be at Work, Play and even Relationships. And sometimes, we are simply lost in between what others will say (think) of us vs. our own drive towards a certain decision.

Are you ready for a Change? Yes? Then firstly, take a step back. Think about what is important in your life right at this moment. Evaluate the decisions and priorities that are before you. After all that, simply be QUIET (…ssshhhh…you can almost hear a pin drop). Take a moment (an hour, a day, a week) to simply just Focus Inward to your Inner Person. A few practical ways to be Quiet; fix a time / date with yourself, get away for the weekend (and just do nothing), go for long walks alone, find a relaxing spot to simply sit and rest, etc.

You will soon discover that after this “moment of being Quiet”…you will find “yourself” again. You will also be (more) at Peace with yourself and with the environment around you. 

Try it today…I am confident you will come out…Refreshed, Renewed and Revived again.